FamilyLife Blog

Help! I am in Crisis!

by | Apr 6, 2020 | Crisis, Crisis & Repair, Marriage, Parenting

Take a deep breath. You will survive, you are not alone, and it has happened to someone else. There is hope. You feel like your world is out of control right now and it probably is. But it won’t stay this way forever. 

Think of another time in your life when you felt overwhelmed. What did you do to handle it in a healthy way? We all handle stress differently — some need to talk, others need a quiet walk, some write, others exercise. Stay away from negative ways of coping. Consider your best go-to response to handle stress and make sure you build it into your life.

Get Help

We all need help at times. It is not a sign of weakness — it is a sign of strength. Make sure to reach out when you need to. Find a pastor, a trusted friend, or a mentor and ask for help. Let them know you are hurting and what you need from them. If your crisis is severe, you may need them to get you the right help, such as a counsellor, coach, or medical intervention. Often in severe crisis, even making simple decisions is overwhelming. Make sure the person helping you is wise and makes good choices.

Help comes in many forms: a meal, someone to talk to, someone to remind you of a different perspective, a gift, money or food, a place to stay, babysitting, the list goes on. You need help now — so accept it from someone who cares. If you have a home church this is a good starting place. If you don’t go to church, we can connect you with one of our mentors who will help give you some guidance online.

Focus On The Now 

What needs to be done today? Don’t focus on the long term. If focussing on today feels too overwhelming, then think about the next hour. 

You have enough energy for figuring out the immediate present, not enough to figure out the future and all its different scenarios. There is a verse in the Bible that says, ”Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Mathew 6:34).

Control Your Emotions 

It is very easy to let emotions make your decisions in a time of crisis. Use your emotions as an indicator rather than a decision maker. Emotions are important as they are a barometer of what is going on. With that being said, they can greatly lead you in the wrong direction if they are left untamed or shut out. So the bottom line is, don’t ignore your emotions, but don’t let them rule your life and decisions either.

Make a Plan 

What needs to be done immediately? Is your physical safety in jeopardy? Can you function? Do your kids need caring for? When you make a plan, you may need someone you trust to help you. Educating yourself about your specific crisis may be part of your plan. Know what you are dealing with, but don’t assume it’s the worst case scenario.

Understand the Problem

It is important to realize that every marriage or family problem involves at least two people: you and the other person. How might you have contributed to the problem? How might you need to change? What attitudes and actions need to be addressed? The more you understand the problem and how to address it, the better prepared you are.

Be Comforted 

Prayer and God’s Word can be very comforting in crisis. You are not alone — God cares about you and your situation. Millions of people around the world believe in the power of prayer. If you are facing a difficult time in your life, a prayer mentor would love the opportunity to pray for you.