I tend to be a holiday sabotager.

You know the drill, right Mamas?

It’s Easter and everyone should be delighted to wear their best (and most un-comfy) clothes, all the live long day. And they should simply clap with joy at the fact that they get to partake in a family photo! Yippee!

Or, it’s my birthday and while I’ve told hubby a thousand times not to get me anything, we all know that’s a cold hard lie. Which if he succumbs to will render me angry the entire day, no matter how often I say, “It’s FINE!”

We tend to set our hopes on Pinteresty Dreams and Mind-Reading Husbands and Perfectly Behaved Children. All of which I’ve capitalized because they are simply fiction novels written in our minds, holding no place in reality.

I’ve written so many times before about our expectations and how they’re generally life ruiners. Yet, no matter how many times I write, it still happens, even in teensy ways – compared to the vastness of yesteryear.
I’m here today, Mamas, to give us the heads up that it’s Mother’s Day soon. The celebratory day that, by its very name, raises our expectations to monumental proportions.

It’s our day.
It’s all about us.
It’s a Me-Me-Me sorta deal!

I hate to be the bummer here but can we remember that because we’re Mothers (and even humans, with other humans in our lives) that it’s never our day. It can’t be. Nor should it be.

Because as long as there are people who need us, or are in relationship with us, or even simply want to speak to us that day? Well, it means there are equally as many ways that the day won’t be about us. And that our expectations will all blow up in our faces leaving us sobbing in the bathroom because nobody cares. (Oh, hey look – it’s my old friend self-pity)

Rather than living that scenario (again – ahem) here are a few things we should do instead:
Remember that this is another day that we are alive. And as such there will be noses to wipe, mouths to feed and questions to answer that we really don’t feel like. There will be discipline to be hand out, toothpaste globs to clean, and presents that we don’t really want.

Speaking of presents, if gifts are what speak love to your soul do yourself a huge favour and let your husband know this. Tell him that while you love plastic beaded necklaces and hand-prints with poems written inside, what you would really love is a new pair of jeans (include size, which brand, and exactly where you’ve put them on hold under his name), or a day at the spa or a handmade piece of jewelry you found on etsy that he would never, ever, ever even knew existed. We can even save ourselves from explaining what etsy is by sending him an exact link.

If gifts aren’t your thing and maybe a nap is, communicate that.

If time spent as a family, in perfect harmony, is really what we’re hoping for – we’re delusional and we should probably move on to the spa thing. Like, now!

Most importantly, let’s give up our expectations.

Let’s give up the comparison game with the moms at work, or school, or the photos posted on Instagram. Give up the standard of perfection that our family will never be able to achieve. Let’s show them grace for all the ways they try and kinda, sorta, get it right.
Lastly, let’s pray, starting now. Because our rock hard, perfection loving hearts are a difficult thing to crack.
– Pray that we would love our family that day, no matter how it goes down.
– Pray that we wouldn’t have expectations, but rather rejoice because we’re here and we have a family and that’s something special.
– Pray that our actions are filled with peace and patience and gentleness rather than bitterness and selfishness.

Related Posts:

A Day Mother’s Can Love

Thank You Mom: You Made a Difference

A Mother’s Day Challenge

Written by Rhonda Fast

Rhonda Fast

Rhonda is a wife + mama, minimalist + adventurer, writer + dreamer,
broken + redeemed.
She works both for FamilyLife Canada as online content manager and at home to keep her marriage thriving, her three teenage boys fed, and her floors kept crumb-free. You can learn more about her spirited life by checking out her blog or visiting her social media sites.