How can you learn how to share responsibilities and work together? It’s not easy, but you can start team building with a let’s learn to work together date. Here’s how to start — go where you know it will be quiet and you won’t be interrupted. Perhaps your favourite coffee house.

Don’t forget to take along some paper and a pen. Then away from the kids and other distractions, list your present responsibilities. Put your lists side by side. Do they seem to balance each other? If so, that’s great — go on and enjoy your coffee!

If your lists are lopsided, here is what you can do:

Make another list.

  • Forget who does what and list out all of your combined responsibilities.
  • Include all those little jobs that need doing on a regular basis: from cleaning the toilets to taking out the garbage.
  • Now it’s time to divide and conquer. Start by choosing those things you enjoy doing. Then tackle those jobs marked “nobody wants to do it!”
  • Maybe you can take turns or attack some of the big ones together.

You can learn to share responsibility and work together. And this date will help you attack the waiting jobs — not each other! Then you’ll have more times for the fun dates in life!

Adapted from 10 GREAT DATES, by Claudia and David Arp.

Written by Claudia and David Arp, MSW

David and Claudia Arp, MSW, founders of Marriage Alive Seminars, are marriage educators, columnists and authors of numerous books and small group video curriculum including “The Second Half of Marriage and 10 Great Dates” (Zondervan). You can visit their website: