Want to know some simple tips for increasing sexual satisfaction? Ways to reignite the sexual chemistry in marriage or even just find the time for it in the midst of a busy schedule? Here are three things we can do as married couples to find sexual satisfaction within our marriages!

Find Out What Our Spouse’s Sexual Needs Are

Many couples have a hard time describing exactly what they would like or what turns them on. Of course, whatever it is needs to be in alignment with scripture (the marriage bed is for you two – no others).  Couples can struggle in this because they don’t know how to ask for some basic requests. It’s important that we talk with our spouse about what turns us on. Describe the touches and kisses that we enjoy. Tell our spouse our favorite sexual position or how we would like sex to be initiated. Don’t demand. Just talk with one another about ways that the intimate time spent together might be enhanced. Then pick one of the things talked about and act on it!

Schedule Sex

Sometimes, as busy married couples, we just need to write, “Have sex” in our day planner.

Often times, we can expect that sex just happens and that if it isn’t happening something must be horribly wrong either with us or with our relationship. The truth is that couples receive a distorted picture of relational intimacy from TV and movies. According to Hollywood, couples typically have an undeniable passion that causes them to set all else aside for their intimate times together. They don’t need a lot of foreplay, they don’t need a lot of time, and somehow, nothing ever seems to get in the way!

But, marriage is based in reality. There are schedules to worry about, jobs, kids, endless responsibilities. Having a passionate marriage means making alone time a priority. Don’t wait for, “just the right moment.” Make time to make love.

More Than Mechanics

As married couples we can get our minds so worked up trying to make sure that one or both of us is having an earth-shattering time that we forget to really enjoy one another. We might aim to please, but end up disappointed. This is partially because when we try too hard we can’t relax and enjoy the moment.

Keep in mind that good sex in our marriages involves the whole person. It goes beyond the physical to include the mind, emotions and heart, and spirit. Scripture even tells us that the two become one. This means that good, healthy, enjoyable sex in marriage is more than a physical act. And, while understanding the basic functions of the body and the importance of foreplay comes in handy, truly enjoyable sex happens when both spouses can lose themselves in one another.

What Can YOU Do? Begin to dialogue within your marriage about what each of you desires in terms of sex. Be loving, attentive and soft-hearted in the conversation and then choose one thing to put into practice to enhance your sex life in your marriage! You can also share this post with others to help them know that good sex within marriage is something we need to prioritize and work on!

Related Posts:

The Biggest Myth About Sex in Marriage

Reconciling Your Sexual Past with your Marriage

Written by Dr. Jessica McCleese

Dr. Jessica McCleese

Dr. Jessica McCleese is a wife, a licensed psychologist, and a sexual educator with specialized training in sex therapy who works with Christian couples looking to improve their marriages and their sex lives using biblically-based principles. Jessica serves on the advisory board for Millennials for Marriage, is a sexual educator through the Christian Association of Sexual Educators, and a psychologist at an outpatient practice in Virginia Beach. She has a unique ability to connect with others and lead them through practical steps they can take to see improvements in their marriage and currently serves people internationally through her work at befullywell.com.