The bonding of sex is not only physical, but also spiritual, emotional and mental which includes the chemical and hormonal bonding that happens. Although we’d like to believe that breaking up and moving on severs that bond, in truth, only God can sever the ‘one flesh’ bond He’s created through sex.

1.  Ask God to bring to mind everyone that you’ve created a sexual bond with—voluntarily or involuntarily. Wait quietly, allowing God to bring names to memory.

2.  Write down on a piece of paper the name of every person. If you don’t know it, write a description of the person or event.

3.  Ask God to show you His perspective of each bond.  If the bond was created through your own choice, ask God to show you why you participated, and the part you played. If the bond was created through someone else’s choice forced on you, ask God to show you how that event affected you.

4.  Pray that your heart will be humbled and your spirit contrite (Psalm 51:17) so that you will experience true repentance.Please note: If you’re praying for someone who’s sexually abused or raped you, you do not need to ask forgiveness for your violation of that person, because he or she violated you. However, you still need to ask God to sever the negative bond that has been created with this person.

5.  Pray the following prayer with each name or incident:

“Lord, I ask forgiveness for sinning against you and against my own body. In the name of Jesus, I sever and renounce the bonds I created with _____. I release my heart tie with this person physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I choose by faith to forgive _______ for their violation against me. Please forgive me of my violation against _______. Please remove the negative emotional baggage I’ve been carrying around with me. Restore to me a virgin heart—as though I’d never been with this person, and heal me completely of the damage this sin has caused me and my marriage. Thank you for your forgiveness. I accept it fully. Amen.”

Return to the main article for more information and four books that can help you on your way.

Written by Barbara Wilson Psy.D.

Barbara Wilson Psy.D.

Dr. Barbara Wilson is an author, Dr. of Clinical Psychology, licensed Clinical Psychologist. She is also the founder of Freedom Bound Communications, an organization that brings healing and hope to those with a painful sexual past. She speaks internationally to youth and adults with her message of sexual bonding and healing. Released from a past of her own, Barbara combines neuroscience and Scripture, with her own story of healing to explain what sexual bonding is and how to move freely into your future in her books, The Invisible Bond: How to Break Free From Your Sexual Past and Kiss Me Again; Restoring Lost Intimacy In Marriage. Dr. Wilson’s study guide, Free, Finding Freedom and Healing from your Past, available in women’s, men’s and young women versions, is being used locally and nationally to walk men and women through an empirically-based, trauma-focused approach for healing from past abuse, sexual trauma and destructive relationships. You can view or purchase any of her books here. Barbara and her husband have been married over 30 years.