The bonding of sex is not only physical, but also spiritual, emotional and mental which includes the chemical and hormonal bonding that happens. Although we’d like to believe that breaking up and moving on severs that bond, in truth, only God can sever the ‘one flesh’ bond He’s created through sex.

1.  Ask God to bring to mind everyone that you’ve created a sexual bond with—voluntarily or involuntarily. Wait quietly, allowing God to bring names to memory.

2.  Write down on a piece of paper the name of every person. If you don’t know it, write a description of the person or event.

3.  Ask God to show you His perspective of each bond.  If the bond was created through your own choice, ask God to show you why you participated, and the part you played. If the bond was created through someone else’s choice forced on you, ask God to show you how that event affected you.

4.  Pray that your heart will be humbled and your spirit contrite (Psalm 51:17) so that you will experience true repentance.Please note: If you’re praying for someone who’s sexually abused or raped you, you do not need to ask forgiveness for your violation of that person, because he or she violated you. However, you still need to ask God to sever the negative bond that has been created with this person.

5.  Pray the following prayer with each name or incident:

“Lord, I ask forgiveness for sinning against you and against my own body. In the name of Jesus, I sever and renounce the bonds I created with _____. I release my heart tie with this person physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I choose by faith to forgive _______ for their violation against me. Please forgive me of my violation against _______. Please remove the negative emotional baggage I’ve been carrying around with me. Restore to me a virgin heart—as though I’d never been with this person, and heal me completely of the damage this sin has caused me and my marriage. Thank you for your forgiveness. I accept it fully. Amen.”

Return to the main article for more information and four books that can help you on your way.

Written by Barbara Wilson Psy.D.

Barbara Wilson Psy.D.

Barbara Wilson is the founder of Freedom Bound Communications, a ministry that brings healing and hope to those with a sexual past. She speaks internationally, as well as on radio and television to youth and adults with her message of sexual bonding and healing. Released from a past of her own, Barbara shares her journey to healing in her books, The Invisible Bond: How to Break Free From Your Sexual Past and Kiss Me Again; Restoring Lost Intimacy In Marriage, (both published by Multnomah Waterbrook, a division of Random House Publications). Barbara has a doctorate in Clinical Psychology in order to equip her to further her work in the area of trauma recovery as well as the fight against sex-trafficking both locally and abroad. Having the opportunity to help those who’ve experienced trauma or abuse (including sexually-exploited women) process their pasts and reclaim their confidence and worth as well as their goals and dreams is a great passion for Barbara and something she hopes to continue to do in her future ministry.
Barbara and her husband are active members of multi-campus Bayside Covenant Church in Sacramento, California where she offers a bible study that leads men and women to God’s forgiving, healing power for past sexual choices, abuse and trauma.