Porn is, I believe, one of the greatest evils against humankind. Not only does it cheapen and devalue sex, it also dehumanizes and devalues people; women, children, and men. It destroys marriages, alters brain chemistry, and is one of the hardest addictions to overcome. But at its most evil core, pornography is not satisfied until its victim has moved from viewing the images in secret to acting out their perverse fantasies on others. Pornography is one of the engines that drive the sex slave trade. And it’s one that comes looking for us.

Maybe you’re one of those it came looking for. You were exposed to it as a child or young adult. Maybe you believed the lie that it was no big deal—you’re weren’t having sex with anyone, so it wasn’t hurting you or others. And you’re not alone if you weren’t concerned that one day it might follow you into your marriage, coming between you and your spouse. Or maybe you were well aware of its evil, yet despite your efforts you couldn’t resist its lure—or you continue to answer its call.  If so, I’m sorry for the pain and shame this evil has caused you. But there’s hope. God can heal you, and you can break free from pornography’s hold. He’s done it for countless others and He can do the same for you. He gave His life so you could be free.

Pornography and Demand…

So why am I telling you all this? And what does it have to do with the demand for sex-trafficking? First, I want you to know this for you. Or maybe for someone you love. Pornography is impacting all of us, even if we have not been trapped by its spell. Porn is altering the world’s view of sex, women, and men. It has caused men to objectify women, and become desensitized to sexual violence. Pornography teaches its viewers that women enjoy sexual violence, and therefore women may want rape or abuse.

Pornography has crossed the threshold into the church, and many Christians have been deceived by the lie that it’s no big deal. Or that it’s okay in marriage…between a husband and wife. The truth is, it is a big deal. It bonds us to images that become permanent in our brains. Having sexual images in our brain is bringing other people into our marriage bed. And according to Hebrews 13:4, God says, sex was given as a gift to husband and wives in marriage. And whenever we bring another into our marriage bed, even in our minds, we’ve taken sex outside God’s plan. Within the protection of a safe and trusting marriage, sex can bring wholeness, peace and joy. But pornography is clearly outside God’s plan for us, bringing pain, destruction, wounding, shame, and idealizes violence against others.

Hope and Healing

Don’t buy into the world’s lie about pornography. In addition to destroying lives, relationships, marriages and minds, the greatest tragedy is how it destroys a very deep part of our core, of who we are–in our soul. If you’re struggling with pornography, I want to offer you the courage and hope that healing is possible –  yes for you. It won’t be easy–it will take some professional counsel, as well as making difficult choices that move you towards healing and away from this addiction. I STRONGLY encourage you to consider and pray about taking the important step to tell someone. Because the truth is, you can’t do this alone.  Find Help now.  While acknowledging it to yourself is the first and most important step, admitting it to someone else is the most difficult—I know. If you’re not ready to tell your spouse or significant other, pray about telling a safe (same gender, women struggle too.) friend, pastor, or counselor.  I promise you, it will be worth the journey–not just for you, and those you love, but also for your present (or future) marriage. And so very importantly, for all those in the next generation who will follow your footsteps to healing and wholeness.

Here I share four steps of sexual healing.

Previous in this series:

The Brain and Sex

The Brain and Sex: Good and Bad News

More Info and Help . . .

by Barb Wilson

Porn Resource Page: FamilyLife Canada

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Written by Barbara Wilson Psy.D.

Barbara Wilson Psy.D.

Dr. Barbara Wilson is an author, Dr. of Clinical Psychology, licensed Clinical Psychologist. She is also the founder of Freedom Bound Communications, an organization that brings healing and hope to those with a painful sexual past. She speaks internationally to youth and adults with her message of sexual bonding and healing. Released from a past of her own, Barbara combines neuroscience and Scripture, with her own story of healing to explain what sexual bonding is and how to move freely into your future in her books, The Invisible Bond: How to Break Free From Your Sexual Past and Kiss Me Again; Restoring Lost Intimacy In Marriage. Dr. Wilson’s study guide, Free, Finding Freedom and Healing from your Past, available in women’s, men’s and young women versions, is being used locally and nationally to walk men and women through an empirically-based, trauma-focused approach for healing from past abuse, sexual trauma and destructive relationships. You can view or purchase any of her books here. Barbara and her husband have been married over 30 years.