My son asked me the other day if he was the hardest-best thing that’s ever happened to me. I laughed, because he knows the truth of our relationship. He knows he’s hard but he also knows that I love him more than words can express.
I thought about his question more as we talked on our way home from school. Each of us coming up with our own list of personal hardest-bests. The more I thought, the more I realized that while having kids is one of the hardest and best things in my life, something else wins out for top spot on that list. . .
I’m not sure I need to go into the reasons why marriage might be hard. We all have answers, do we not? (communication, differing family histories, communication, baggage, communication, selfishness, communication…..need I go on?)
It was an important conversation and part way through I realized that I needed to shift the story.
I don’t want my children to grow up thinking that marriage is only hard, or that it’s too hard. I want them to know that marriage is worth it.
I need to be sure that they are hearing that the best things in life are worth it; worth working for, worth fighting for, and worth wading through the hard stuff for.
Why? Because both in the midst of, and on the other side of all of the hard, we discover the best. For me, a best friend, so much joy, unending camaraderie, a confidant. I get someone to deep belly laugh with and someone who wipes away the tears. We have meals shared and memories made and an adventurous life lived together. I can’t think of anything better.
My son now understands that marriage is the hardest-best. More importantly, he’s hearing that marriage is worth it!
Summer is nearly upon us and June is the biggest wedding month of the year so we, here at FamilyLife Canada, thought we’d take this month to share some of our anniversary stories, decade to decade.
We figured there’s no better way to show that marriage is worth it than to hear from couples who’ve been married for 5, 10, 20 and even over 30 years! We hope this month is an encouragement to you, as you read our stories!
Our first decade couple is Tim and Olive Chan with their delightful series;
7 Things We Learned in 7 Years of Marriage
1st thing: Appreciation Strengthens Marriage
2nd thing: Margin Helps Our Marriage
3rd thing: As Strong as the Weakest
4th thing: Children Add Strain to Marriage
5th thing: Bring Out the Best
6th thing: Waiting Together, the Hard Times
7th thing: Rich Traditions