Read part one of this series, The Fun Factor: Maintaining Fun

A regular dose of fun, relaxing time together is a key part of a dynamic, fulfilling relationship.

There are some common roadblocks to healthy leisure time spent together. Often spouses’ ideas of what constitutes a good time differ. Nearly one-third of couples just don’t agree on what is recreational. Personality differences can also be a factor. Some people are more outgoing and seek social connections while their spouse has less of a need for social interaction.

What’s the answer? One possible resolution is to find a balance, and this might mean making sacrifices which seek a common pleasure.

Ed and Virginia have very different interests. He enjoys golf and restoring his vintage sports car. Virginia, on the other hand, would prefer to window shop every chance she gets.

For two years the couple just went their separate ways, but eventually they decided that if they were going to find time together, they would need to make sacrifices. For example, one  weekend when Virginia’s kids were at their father’s house, Ed decided to go shopping with Virginia. Ed didn’t shop because he enjoys it; he did it because it pleased his wife and strengthened their bond. His sacrificial heart brought about a shared smile.


Action Point:

Becoming more intentional with the fun-factor in your marriage.

List the leisure activities that you don’t enjoy doing together. It’s okay to have an individual interest or activity that you enjoy as long as investing in it doesn’t steal time from the marriage. Learning to appreciate each other’s separate interests is also respectful toward one another.

© 2010 by Ron L. Deal. All rights reserved.

Written by Ron Deal

Ron Deal

Ron L. Deal is president of Smart Stepfamilies™, director of FamilyLife Blended™ (a ministry of FamilyLife®), a popular conference speaker, and author/coauthor of a series of DVD’s, books, and curriculum for stepfamilies including The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepmom, The Smart Stepdad, Dating and the Single Parent, and the book The Smart Stepfamily Marriage. His one-minute radio feature FamilyLife Blended can be heard daily on radio stations throughout North America and online. © [2016] by Ron L. Deal. All rights reserved.
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