The nurse chatted as she did the paperwork. “Marriage is hard!”, she commented unexpectedly. I asked my husband how he would have responded.
“Life is hard”, he said. “Marriage is what helps make it manageable.”
Everyday we face challenges in our marriages. Life is full. Pressure builds. Sometimes we take that pressure out on the very one we chose to share life with.
Marriage is the art of bringing two singular lives together to form a bond and a unit that is much stronger and more durable than the individuals alone.
Daily life can push us towards singularity, opposing the durability of our unity. A marriage that
lasts must be crafted intentionally.
Why do we assume that after a wedding, the new marriage partnership will just happen?
Erosion comes subtlety in a variety of urgent moments.
What happens IN you is more important than what happens TO you.
Ask yourself: “What’s happening IN me, in my relationship with my spouse?
If subtle erosion is even a hint, then reach for the tool of TIME from the craftsman’s workshop.
The urgent calls loudly for the moment while the important waits silently.
You will not find time to tend your marriage – you must make time.
Time away is nice, yet daily moments of intentional togetherness are more essential.
Eating together without TV.
Taking a short walk.
Having a drink together and break from technology.
Going to bed at the same time. Couples who have different sleep needs can shelter that bedtime connection by a “tucking in” routine even if the other stays up later. It may feel awkward at first, but try it.
Watch for the “gift of time” when you have to wait together or share a commute.
Find your own moments – hunt for them as for a treasure.
Move beyond daily interaction, like who’s picking up milk, to intentionally building into your
marriage in some small way every day. It will recharge your relationship is surprising ways!
Conversation or laughter, that would otherwise be rushed off, will enrich your togetherness.
History together is built one moment at a time.
Make the moments count in building YOUR strong history together. It’s worth the effort!