In his book, Creating an Intimate Marriage, author Jim burns challenges readers with this idea, “YOU set the mood, tone and atmosphere in your marriage.” He also points out you are the ONE person who can make a difference in your marriage. You cannot default to, “If only my spouse would change!”

Are you proactive or reactive? Proactive people take positive steps forward to change the circumstances. Reactive people are shaped by their circumstances.

Are you a thermometer or a thermostat? A thermometer reads the temperature. A thermostat changes the temperature. Make a definite choice this week to be the leader in creating affection, warmth and encouragement.



Choose one thing you can do each day this week. Ask yourself the following:

  • How can I be more affectionate? Maybe it’s a hug, a kiss or holding hands during the day.
  • How do I communicate warmth? Maybe it’s saying thank you; expressing appreciation for things you take for granted.
  • How can I be more encouraging? Are you looking at the glass half empty? Tell your spouse one thing you like about him/her each day.


Reactive or Proactive, Thermometer or Thermostat: Which are you?

Suggested Resource:

Creating an Intimate Marriage, by Jim Burns

Written by Mike Woodard

Mike Woodard

Mike is married to Karen, he is father of 4 and grandfather of 2. Backpacking is his favourite past time. Science and theology are his educational background, a biology degree from Central Michigan University and a master’s degree in Christian Studies from Trinity Western Seminary. Mike is the Associate Director of FamilyLife Canada. For more of his story visit