Our marriage isn’t perfect. I know – shocker! What’s interesting though, is many of the on-going issues we experience have been part of our marriage since day one. We’ve just become really good at settling with them. That kind of scares me. I don’t like this settling, so attending a FamilyLife Canada Weekend Getaway has been on my radar for about 4 years. But each year I manage to find an excuse not to go! If you’re reading this, you might have the same ones.
This year, however, will be different. We’ve pushed aside the excuses, said yes to our marriage, and no to all the ways we’ve settled. We’re in our marriage for the long haul, and with that in mind, we decided to sharpen things up a bit by attending a Weekend Getaway!
I know we’re not alone in the “settling” department and likely not alone in the “excuses” department either. So if you’re wondering if a marriage conference might be a good idea for you and your spouse – here are my top excuses along with the reasons we’re going anyway!
Excuse #1 – I don’t ‘do’ conferences
I get it. Sitting in a room full of strangers isn’t your cup of tea and spending a weekend learning about marriage may even sound dull.
But the truth is, there isn’t one type of person that ‘does’ conferences. Conferences are for anyone who wants to invest in something. If you’re a teacher, you attend to become a better teacher. If you’re in sales, you go to learn how to serve your clients. If you’re married, you attend because you care about your marriage, your spouse and your family!
We want our marriage to last a lifetime and this, I’m quite certain, does not happen by chance.
Marriage conferences aren’t just for people who are newly married or people on the brink of divorce – they’re for everyone! And we hear they’re actually a lot of fun. I guess we’ll find out!
Excuse #2 – My marriage is fine, thankyouverymuch
I know, mine is too. It’s actually even better than fine – it’s good. But, I’ll admit it’s not always the best it can be. While my husband and I are committed to each other absolutely, we still tend to have some (eh-hem) communication issues. We’re not always very giving or understanding of each other and sometimes we’re downright selfish. While we have no major areas of concern, we know loving each other well takes patience, understanding and wisdom! We think it’s a good idea to learn a bit more about how exactly to have these – because we plan on living together and loving each other for a long time!
Excuse #3 – We’ll connect in our own way
When? Without deliberately setting aside time, having the tools, and being ready and open to it – we have never fit it in. It’s been 4 years for us and while we connect, it hasn’t been as deeply as I’d like. Sure, we spend time together and yes, we talk but it’s often about the tasks of our day, not about the things going on inside of our hearts and minds. Our date nights, while great and fun, are often dinner in a crowded restaurant and a movie. Not exactly optimum conditions for a deep connection.
Besides, the weekend getaway will give us time to connect in our own way with a built in date night. It also helps couples take strategic time to talk, work through a few things and get to know each other in a deeper way. When’s the last time you did that?
Excuse #4 – It costs too much
I know how many things are vying for our hard earned dollars. Kids activities, grocery bills and the dryer that’s making an unhealthy sound. However, we all choose things we will spend money on. Is it a gym membership? A daily coffee? Maybe concert tickets or a sporting event?
Choosing to spend money on a Weekend Getaway is choosing to invest in our marriage. Plus, we get a weekend away in a beautiful location! I can’t think of a better way to spend our money and I’d happily give up a few other things to make this concentrated time together happen.
It’s official. We’ve put if off long enough and this year we’re actually attending. Registration is done, the hotel is being booked, childcare arrangements have been made and now that we’re at this point I can honestly say – I’m looking forward to it!
I’m really hoping some of you excuse makers will join us!
(Don’t worry – we don’t have to talk. It even says so on the website!)
See others enjoying their Weekend Getaway, at @familylifecanada #flcweekendgetaway on Instagram. (Psst…follow them! They often share great deals and sometimes give away registrations and other neat stuff!)