Give it up. The pressure we put on ourselves to be all things, do it all, achieve, work, enjoy, savor, rest. No matter how successful my day, there’s always something forgotten or pushed off till tomorrow. And I carry that knowledge, sometimes like a badge, other times like a burden. But it always feels heavy.
Want some confessions from a work-from-home mom?
My kid has more clothes than my husband and I combined. *thank you hand-me-downs!* That’s how he can have a full outfit planned for tomorrow while my husband is out of clean socks.
Even still … Dillon goes to preschool in his PJ’s so often that sometimes we hit pajama day by accident.
When the room is too cluttered, I should have found time to clean.
Too organized, I question if I’m spending enough playtime.
Do we laugh enough? Learn enough? Does he feel connected? Independent enough?
Really, behind it all, I’m asking, Am I doing/loving/being … enough?
I love working. It’s my happy place. And even though both Jared and I have peace with my employment, I feel like I’m missing out. I wonder if I’ll look back on these years and no longer question the choice, but know it was wrong. So far, God hasn’t called for change in this part of my life, so I’m still here. Celebrating and criticizing my desk time.
Here’s the reminder for my heart today:
It’s not YOU that’s enough.
I don’t have to be and do all the things. It’d take multiple lifetimes for me to squeeze in every ounce of playing teaching loving Pinteresting restful adventuresome moments with my kid, in our clean instagrammable home, between delicious made-from-scratch meals grown from my organic garden and prize-winning chickens (of which I have neither a garden or chickens … or a clean home, let’s be real about it).
Jesus doesn’t call me to be enough. He offers more than enough.
He can make His grace abound toward me. (2 Corinthians 9:8)
Multiplying my small supply, until five loaves and two fish feed a multitude. (Matthew 14:13-21)
God, who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that I can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20) cares for my family.
The guilt comes when I put the burden on myself. To prove what I can do. Even when I’m living the best I can according to what He’s told me, I still feel the guilt. That’s how I know it’s not from Him. God calls from grace, not through condemnation.
So I’m choosing again today, to give up the mom guilt. A choice I’ll need to make again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. And I’m calling on Jesus.