“Love….Always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.” (1 Corinthians 13:7, The Message)

We see what we are looking for. Yes, I know, I have an amazing grasp of the obvious, but before you pass this off as yesterday’s weather report, let me challenge you. Give yourself 15 seconds to write down everything in the room that is a certain color. Timer set? The color is green. Go.

Ok, 15 seconds is over. How many things did you find? Actually what I just had you do was look through a ‘green mindset’. You didn’t start reading this article thinking about green. I put that in your head. We see what we are looking for.

Have you ever bought a new car (well, new to you) and suddenly started seeing so many other vehicles like yours? Who knew so many people drove a 1964 VW Bug? It’s the same thing at work; our vision follows our focus. We see what we expect to see.

What’s my point? Bible says that love, “always looks for the best.” (I Corinthians 13:7, MSG) It means we need to train our brains to see the good in our spouse. When you look at your wife you will see what you are looking for. If you think she is doesn’t respect you, you will find lots of evidence. If you think your husband is annoying, he will be. If you think she is good looking, you will find lots of evidence. If you think he is kind, you will notice kindness. If you think your spouse is an incredible parent. . . you get the idea. We see what we are looking for. If we look for the best we will uncover some amazing treasures.

I think my wife is crazy and I find lots of evidence. For me, that is awesome because I love her craziness. (Yes, she has read this!) She is perfectly crazy about me and zany in her antics. That draws me to her.

What are you looking for? This week, look for the best in your spouse and see how it opens your eyes to a wonderful person. Watch how it draws you close together. What do you see when you look at your spouse?

Father, Show me the good things in my spouse that might have slipped past me. Remind me to rejoice in the good things I already know are there. Marriage is a gift, help me to always treat it as one and never take it for granted. Teach me to see the very best in the one I love. Amen

Question: It’s easy to look for the best when the relationship is good, but when you’re in a rocky patch, where do you start to get back on track?

How is your marriage today? If you could use some back up, talk to a mentor.


Do You ‘See Red’ or ‘Green’? A Simple Marriage Test

Seeing is Believing? A Marriage Question

Check out some videos by Neal Communication in Marriage.

Written by Neal Black

Neal Black

Neal works at Power to Change developing leaders. His passion is to challenge people to listen to God and develop their giftedness as they follow where Jesus leads. Neal and June speak at One Day events for FamilyLife. They love to communicate God’s game-plan for relationships with humour, energy and lots of stories!