Author, Michele Weiner Davis says the average couple has sex 1.5 times a week. I know, what is the .5? Was it an interruption by a kid knocking at the door? How many times did you and your spouse have sex last week? Do you both remember the same number? Will it start an argument just bringing it up?

Ok, so here’s the deal, how about keeping track for a month. Don’t compare to the national average, just keep track and see if what you think is accurate. Michele, in a video clip, said that having sex helps couples grow, so I’m sure it can help us all! The Bible says to only refrain from sex in marriage when you both agree to have a concentrated focus on prayer and even that should only be for a limited time (1 Cor. 7:3-5).

Here is the challenge: instead of trying to beat the national average, take a month to improve your sex life. Start by talking. Include things like what you want, need, and enjoy. Also include any hurt, frustration or obstacles. Make sure both partners feel heard.

Next, practice what you discussed. What emotional changes do you see in your relationship? Ideally more sex will benefit the relationship, but we all know real life is not always ideal. So be patient and understanding with each other, that is part of the growth process.

Links to other articles:

My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex!

Unmet Expectations: Sex three times a week?

Sex in a Christian Marriage

Written by Neal Black

Neal Black

Neal works at Power to Change developing leaders. His passion is to challenge people to listen to God and develop their giftedness as they follow where Jesus leads. Neal and June speak at One Day events for FamilyLife. They love to communicate God’s game-plan for relationships with humour, energy and lots of stories!