What is a great way to enjoy a date? How do we grow together? Sometimes dating feels awkward or intimidating, any suggestions? Have you ever thought these questions?

My wife and I have laughed, learned, and built a storehouse of stories. These stories allow access into the other’s life and connect us together.

Try these Discovery Questions next time you have a date or time when you want to deepen your connection. And remember guys: overall as a man, you are better at observation than she is. (See Secrets of Happily Married Men by Scott Haltzman)

Discovery Questions

(Write your answers, then discuss them. Complete 5 per date, if you enjoy competition keep score, but don’t let it ruin your date!)

1.Who was your partner’s hero growing up? Why? (4 pts)
2.Name your partner’s favorite holiday and why. (3 pts)
3.Who is the relative your partner feels closest to? (4 pts)
4.What is your partner’s favorite hobby? (2 pts)
5.Name your partner’s favorite music group. (3 pts)
TOTAL _______

1. If your partner could name their perfect job what would it be? (2 pts)
2. Can you name a traumatic event in your partner’s childhood? (4 pts)
3. Name your partner’s most embarrassing moment. (3 pts)
4. What did your partner want to be when he/she was growing up? (2 pts)
5. What accomplishment would your partner say is their greatest? (4 pts)
TOTAL _______

1. Describe what romance looks like to your partner (4 pts)
2. What kind of books does your partner most enjoy reading? (2 pts)
3. Name one thing your partner would like you to do more. (2 pts)
4. What is your partner’s favorite way to spend the weekend? (4 pts)
5. What was your partner’s childhood nickname? (3 pts)
TOTAL _______

1. Name your partner’s best friends growing up. (3 pts)
2. Describe your partner’s perfect day (4 pts)
3. Who would your partner call first with great news? (2 pts)
4. Who was your partner’s favorite teacher and why? (3 pts)
5. What would your partner do if they won $1000? (3 pts)
TOTAL _______

You can pick and choose the questions ahead of time that will determine how deep you want to dive. What I have learned by asking my wife these questions has stayed with me and drawn me closer to my wife. Talk time doesn’t have to be intimidating if your set it up before hand and you each get to share your own stories.


Try it in the next 2 weeks.

Related posts:

Are You Still Interested in Each Other?

Marriage: Little Things Add Up

Written by Neal Black

Neal Black

Neal works at Power to Change developing leaders. His passion is to challenge people to listen to God and develop their giftedness as they follow where Jesus leads. Neal and June speak at One Day events for FamilyLife. They love to communicate God’s game-plan for relationships with humour, energy and lots of stories!