September 17, 2014

Have you ever thought, “We must be speaking different languages?” Maybe you are right! In the book, The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman suggests there are different languages or ways we give and receive love. Use the wrong language and the other person does not get the message!

What language do you speak? What language does your spouse use?

Words of Affirmation: The gift of unsolicited compliments, the reasons behind love.

Quality Time: The gift of full, undivided attention.

Receiving Gifts: The gift selected with thoughtfulness and effort show that you know, care for and value the person.

Acts of Service: The gift of doing anything to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on your spouse.

Physical Touch: The gift of thoughtful touch like hugs, pats on the back, caresses on the arm or face or holding hands.

Personal Example: My wife feels love when I give her quality time but I like to express love through acts of service. I paint the kitchen to say I love you. While she does appreciate my painting the kitchen, she thinks, “If he loved me we would spend more quality time talking and doing things together.”

Question: What love language do you speak? In what way do you like to receive love? In what way do you like to express love? What adjustments need to be made in order to express love effectively to your spouse?

Suggested Resource: The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman

Written by Mike Woodard

Mike Woodard

Mike is married to Karen, he is father of 4 and grandfather of 2. Backpacking is his favourite past time. Science and theology are his educational background, a biology degree from Central Michigan University and a master’s degree in Christian Studies from Trinity Western Seminary. Mike is the Associate Director of FamilyLife Canada. For more of his story visit