Although planning for Christmas is important, making time to have fun in our marriage at Christmas is important too. I never want to get to New Year’s Day and realize that we haven’t done anything fun together since before Thanksgiving!
We work together to set Christmas priorities, get things done and have some fun in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the season. If you’re hoping to do the same, here are 5 ways to have fun with your spouse and enjoy your marriage, in spite of the endless to-do lists and general Christmas craziness:
- Make it a priority. I don’t know about you, but I tend to think that “fun” and “enjoyment” should happen spontaneously. The reality, though, is that these things rarely happen without planning for married people who have jobs and houses and children and responsibilities. If we just wait for them to happen, we’re going to be waiting a very long time. Instead, we have to make a decision, then make a plan. The decision is, “I’m going to have fun with my spouse and enjoy being with them, even though it’s the busiest time of the year and chaos is swirling all around me.” Making that decision and prioritizing your marriage are the critical steps – the other steps won’t happen without them.
- Talk about it. Let your spouse know that you want to spend time with them and have fun together – now and at Christmas and right through New Year’s Day. Talk about what that means to both of you, and discuss what each of you can do to make it happen. Be willing to give and take – what’s fun for you may not be fun for your spouse and vice versa, so make sure both of you get to “have your say.”
- Plan 4 fun things to do together between now and New Year’s Day. Get out your calendars, sit down together, and plan at least 4 fun things the two of you want to do together over the next couple of weeks. Maybe you want to see a movie, walk through a Christmas lights display, go ice skating, or just sit down and enjoy a glass of wine together. Maybe you want to combine fun with a little bit of getting-things-done. Like wrapping gifts while watching a Christmas movie or working outside to spruce up the yard before guests arrive. We’re taking that approach this week; we plan to go out for a nice dinner then do some Christmas shopping. We both hate crowded malls, so we’re hoping that shopping later at night will be less stressful than shopping during the day! After Christmas we plan to take a day trip and enjoy exploring a new place together. Pick some things you will each enjoy and put them on your calendar. (And make a note of anything you need to do to make them happen – like asking a friend to keep the kids for a few hours.)
- Let go of things that get in the way. Between now and Christmas, the number of things that can get in the way of having fun with your spouse will grow exponentially. The reality is, you likely both have more tasks to do than you can possibly accomplish. Those tasks will suck the joy out of the season and your marriage, if you let them. So decide now not to let them. Figure out which things you can let go, and cross those things off your to-do list with nary a second thought. Talk with your spouse – they likely have lots of ideas about what’s important and what’s not at Christmas!
- Make love regularly. Yeah, I know you’re busy and tired, and sex can seem like one more task on your to-do list. I really, really get that. But I also know that making love regularly reduces your stress level and makes you feel great. It also brings the two of you closer together and smooths out some of the little bumps in your relationship, all of which can make a stressful season seem a bit less stressful. So make time for it, even if you don’t have the time.
(If you’re experiencing significant problems in your marriage related to sex, this idea won’t be helpful. If that’s the case, please consider speaking with a professional counselor.)