One of the biggest deterrents to effective discipline is that parents get upset. Then they use their big upset emotions to push outcomes.
The younger kids are, the more this works to manage behaviour. But over time, as kids tire of this pushing, they either start pushing back or they tire of trying and learn to comply to get on with life — not because they value right behaviour, but because they don’t want to get in trouble.
Getting out of this cycle begins by learning how to be OK when kids are struggling. When a parent learns to be OK, their child’s struggle is simplified because the child knows the struggle is not about the parent. Additionally, once parents know they are OK they are freed to help kids much more effectively through their struggles.
What is your strategy for being OK when your kids struggle?