FamilyLife Blog

How to Give Your Marriage an Attitude Adjustment

by | Oct 28, 2021 | Coping with Change, Marriage, Mental Wellness

The attitudes you and your spouse hold toward different circumstances will affect your marriage in a myriad of ways. Good, bad, or clashing attitudes set the stage for how you’ll work together to tackle a problem — or not. That’s why it becomes essential to give your marriage an attitude adjustment every now and then.

It’s a good idea to check in on your attitudes from time to time, and from one situation to the next. The way you look at and approach challenges is largely defined by your attitude toward them. If you want to succeed as a couple, then you’ll need to cultivate positive attitudes in the face of life’s unpredictability.

Need to give your marriage an attitude adjustment? Read on.

Decide to Cultivate Joy

Creating joy and happiness in your relationship is a deliberate, daily effort that leads to better attitudes. You and your spouse must decide that you’re going to create as much joy in your daily life as possible. When you commit to a positive environment, your attitude follows suit.

You may find that you need to build a set of skills that supports this goal, and that’s OK. It’s common for spouses who grew up in a more negative environment to struggle with making positivity a habit. But if you want to give your marriage an attitude adjustment, then you have to choose not to exist in a perpetual victim mentality. Instead, you want to create happiness together, even through life’s ups and downs.

Choose Your Direction

To adjust your attitudes in a constructive way, you’ll also need to choose your direction and stick to it. What do we mean by that? We mean that you have to decide to stick together, no matter what life throws at you.

Choose to keep moving forward as partners. You’ll find that making this all-important decision early will influence the way you both respond to difficult times. Decide now that you’re going to keep moving in the same direction. Even when you’re in the midst of a storm, hold tightly to one another.

Focus on Positives

Are you a glass-half-empty or glass-half-full kind of couple? Your outlook on life will impact your attitudes from day to day. If you or your spouse has a negative mindset, that will make difficult circumstances harder. When you expect negative outcomes, you’re more likely to experience them.

But if you focus on setting more positive expectations, there’s a greater chance that you will respond in a constructive way. You’ll be more likely to experience positive outcomes. And, even if the outcome is less than ideal, it will be easier to pinpoint the good things about it.

It’s All About the Everyday Responses

When it comes down to it, everyday problems — and your responses to them — can accumulate and damage your relationship over time. You and your spouse must be prepared beforehand with the right attitude so you can come out on the other side stronger than before.

If you need a little help giving your marriage an attitude adjustment, check out our book, I Love You More. It’s a guidebook to helping you and your spouse navigate those everyday issues with greater ease for a happier marriage.
Used with permission. Originally published on symbis.com.