How do you greet one another? What do your farewells look like?
Often in marriage we lose the warmth in our hellos and goodbyes. Eventually an unintelligible grunt can become the only thing our spouse hears from us in our comings and goings. The importance of how we interact with one another at those times cannot be overstated, as they are our first and last touch-points with one another during the day.
Grab your favourite drinks and watch this short video to find out how our dog taught us a great lesson about greeting one another!
After watching the video, take turns asking and answering the following questions together. Listen actively to each other — with gentleness and humility — so you each feel heard and free to share.
- How do I currently interact with you when you come home, leave the house, get ready for bed or get up in the morning?
- On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with my current interactions with you during those specific times? Why?
- What is one thing I could add to those particular interactions with you so that you feel loved and cared for? (Some suggestions could be: share a dance, kiss, say “I love you,” invent a handshake, hug, say “I’ll miss you,” air kiss, wink, share a prayer request, learn a greeting in a new language, etc.)
- Try out some new interactions for a week and check in with each other to see how it’s going.
Sweeten Up Your Hellos and Goodbyes By…
- Surprising your spouse by bringing home their favourite treat
- Sharing a 10-second kiss goodnight before bed. (10 seconds is not the limit, by the way!)
- Saying something you appreciate about your spouse before they leave the house
- Taking one of your spouse’s morning routine rituals and doing it for them (i.e, taking out the garbage, putting toothpaste on their toothbrush, pouring a cup of coffee for them, etc.)
Hellos, Goodbyes and God
2 Corinthians 13:11-12 says: “…Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet each other with a holy kiss.”
“Greet each other with a holy kiss”…. This may seem like a cultural nuance of the early church’s day, but how we greet and say farewell to one another is really about our heart stance — towards one another and towards God.
When we engage with God, our love for one another grows. So how can we move towards Jesus so that our warmth for our spouse grows? Consider one specific way you can grow in your relationship with Jesus this week. Perhaps it’s spending time in prayer every day this week, reading the Bible, being in solitude or worshipping through music.
Whatever it is you choose, commit to doing it. Then talk to your spouse about what you are learning and discuss how being close to Jesus is impacting your interactions with one another.