Our media driven culture has established the notion that loving our spouse equals attraction – forever and always. However, is this based on reality? Do we stop to consider reality or is there a mythological basis to our beliefs about attraction? Although we apply logic to our understanding of mythical creatures like unicorns or the Sasquatch, do we apply this same logic to relationship myths? Or do we panic as Sheryl Pauls discusses when attraction ebbs?

Here are Sheryl’s words on this topic:

“You won’t always feel attracted to your partner.

Even if we know this intellectually, when lack of attraction hits in marriage most people panic. We’re a profoundly image-based culture and we’re taught through mainstream media that if you’re not wildly attracted to your partner, you’re with the wrong person. That simply is not reality.

We see our partners in many different lights — from elegantly dressed for a special event to retching over the toilet bowl. Even over the course of a day or an hour, attraction can fluctuate, and that’s completely normal. Knowing this can alleviate much needless anxiety so that you don’t fall down the rabbit hole of “What’s wrong?” “

See Paul’s post 10 Things Nobody Tells You About Being Married for this and more of her candid marriage wisdom.

So, now that we know attraction ebbs, what can we do about it? Shelli Proffitt Howells speaks candidly to the attraction topic. Her candor may make you laugh and will offer a realistic perspective. To read her post click on this picture. Enjoy her 7 practical points!

i'm not attracted ot my spouse anymore

Written by Beth Scholes

Beth Scholes

Beth is passionate about helping families not just survive but thrive. Beth works for FamilyLife Canada as Content Manager. She married Darcy in 1989, they have three children. She is currently enjoying parenting teens and a young adult. Beth loves to read, roller-blade, play board games and socialize.